When I started at my first school after moving to Minnesota, my parents and I went to a meeting with all my first-grade classmates and their parents. After me and my parents met some other families there, my first-grade teacher went around the room calling out all of our names, when they eventually came around to mine, I can distinctly remember a pause before they read out my name as “Ben Maceedo?”. Before I could say anything, my parents corrected the pronunciation, saying to the teacher that it was supposed to be pronounced as “Macedo.” This event was the first time I could recollect somebody mispronouncing my name. As time passed, it wasn’t my parents who often corrected others; it was me. 

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My last name, “Macedo” comes from my Dad’s side of the family, who all come from India; my Dad’s parents and my grandparents were first-generation immigrants who came to the United States in the mid-1970s at a time when all Asian people were not widely accepted or welcomed due to the last years of the Vietnam War. My grandparents' early days living in the US came with them hearing much worse than just people mispronouncing their last name. As time has passed, I’ve learned to be proud that my last name is a direct connection to my family and their early struggles in this country. This is a large part of why I chose to write this speech about it, although, unlike my parents, I sometimes struggle to correct others when they don’t say my name correctly. For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why, and in my almost 13 years of living in Minnesota, I’ve heard nearly every variation of my name that you can probably imagine, some of them being a little ridiculous, like “Maceedo,” “Maceedoo,” “MAceedo,” “MACedo,” “MACedoo,”. On a more positive note, I’ve even been given several nicknames in recent years, like Big Ben, Big Mac, or as you might have unfortunately heard in my intro, Big Whopper, and yes Whopper as in the one from Burger King. A nickname that was given to me by my friends and used by the boys' tennis team, so I guess I have them to thank when my friends sing along to Burger King commercials if I’m in the room.

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As you can see, I’ve heard any and all options regarding my last name, including some more lighthearted and funny nicknames, but as I said earlier, I haven’t always been good at correcting others who don’t say my name right. This is really where my heritage comes into the picture; for the longest time, I was scared of what others would think if I corrected them or, even more so if I told them I was Indian. My last name has always played into how I identify racially in front of others, and most people that I have met assume, because of the way my name sounds, that I am Latino or, more specifically people have assumed me to be Mexican. When I was younger and in elementary school, if people asked me about being Latino, I’d either provide a timid response just simply saying: “no, I’m not” and moving on, or sometimes I wouldn’t say anything altogether. Whenever I told people that I was, in fact, Indian, their responses were either, “Oh, you don’t look Indian,” or “Oh, you don’t sound Indian.”

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Being insecure and worried about how others would perceive me hindered me from embracing my Indian side for a very long time; even as I got older, I would often worry about how people would react if I told them of my heritage because, let’s be honest I don’t look Indian, especially compared to the rest of my Dad’s side of the family. Combatting this self-conscious side of me hasn’t been something that was resolved overnight; it’s taken a long time. Now, at almost 18 years of age and closing in on the end of high school, I’ve improved at expressing my heritage to others I meet. The more I express myself to others, the more I show honor and respect to my grandparents and parents, who have worked hard to provide so many opportunities for me. I am incredibly proud to have such a loving and caring family, which has also helped me express my identity and stay true to myself.

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As you can probably imagine it took me a while to think of how to end this; after all, I had 4 years to think about it, but I felt this short summary was best. People struggle with their identity in lots of different ways, some might be more direct like with my last name, and some are more internal, with worries and concerns that many may not be comfortable voicing to others. For everyone though, it’s important to always understand that no matter how the world and other people may try and change you, always remain true to yourself and honest to others.