crossroads magazine
winning stories
Social suffocation
Nabeeha Qadri
So many different people. Too many people, their voices, laughter, shouting, and
yelling cluttered her mind, ears, and senses. She is surrounded by hundreds of bodies, every
which way she looks. Her short dark hair swishes this way and that, trying to keep up with the
panicked movement of her eyes. Her breath comes out in gasps, struggling for air as if she were
swimming in a tsunami of people, reaching to breach the surface of the dark waves. Her arms
push and shove the elbows of people in the crowd. She treks her way through, inch by inch, foot
by foot, yard by yard, until she grasps the last remaining open space in the park and collapses,
exhausted, onto the ground, leaning against the trunk of the cherry blossom. She is alone in this
ocean of people. She knows nobody, and nobody knows her. Her exhaustion propels her into the
dark, black void of dreamless oblivion.
​
Maybe minutes, maybe hours, or maybe days go by; she doesn’t know, doesn’t
care, doesn’t want to awaken. But something stirred her; perhaps it was the gentle rays of light
piercing themselves through her eyelids, or maybe she sensed something was amiss. Slowly,
leisurely, she rouses, giving her eyelids the difficult task of lifting the heavy sleep off her eyes.
The remaining dregs of sleep evaporate as she takes in the scene around her.
She was still in the park, with hundreds of people surrounding her.
But everybody in the crowd had... stopped.
Stopped as in not moving, not moving as in silent, silent as in completely, utterly, still.
The girl stood up, clutching the trunk of the cherry blossom for support. Dusk was falling fast,
the pinks and purples of the sky blending into an indiscernible shade of blue. Fairy lights had
been twisted and strung between the branches of the trees. Each person seemed as if they had
frozen while saying something mid-sentence, each person in a different pose. There was a young
child, tongue reaching to grasp their lollipop. An older woman bent over, reaching for something
on the ground, her necklace dangling from her neck. A girl with a bored expression was reading
a book upside down while her other friends held their phones as if about to record. This made her
laugh. Slowly, the girl started to walk around, examining each person. Just in case her eyes were
tricking her, she patted people’s heads and tried to push them over, to no avail. Each person stood
rooted to the ground.
She enjoyed observing people. It was easier than trying to talk to them. Slowly, she made
her way through the crowd, studying each person. But she was not sure what she was looking for.
The silence, welcomed at first, was becoming uncomfortable. There was not a single sign of life
among any of the people. Her search became more desperate. Was anyone awake?
Suddenly, she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She turned around to
look, but her bracelet got caught on the handle of somebody’s bike. She twisted her wrist, but her
bracelet was stuck, and she didn’t want to break it. At that moment, she heard a soft voice.
“Here, let me help.”
She was startled and turned her head to see a young boy with round cheeks and wide
eyes. He reached over and loosened the strands of entangled turquoise beads.
Even though he was much younger than her, his eyes and features shined with a
matureness unusual for his age. His eyes were searching for something, someone. Instantly, she
felt connected to him somehow. She felt as if he was searching for the same thing she was.
He smiled. “You unfroze.”
“I was frozen?” She replied. But the more important question was, “How did you choose
me?”
​
“I really don’t know what I was looking for,” he said, “all I know is that you looked
panicked, and I had to help you somehow. Maybe that’s how you unfroze.”
In a way, this made a lot of sense. She couldn’t keep waiting for someone. She had to
take the first step, even though it scared her. The fear of rejection frightened her more than
anything.
“There are still so many people left,” she told the boy.
“All we have to do is find the people we resonate with.”
She searched for the girl that had caught her eye earlier. The upside-down book reader.
She approached, sat beside her on the park bench, and tapped her shoulder.
“Hi, I’m Sara. What’s your name?”